I'm having such a hard time with this. I'm five months pregnant and I just noticed stretch marks on my sides. I'm only halfway through my pregnancy. I just got married right before we got pregnant and I love my husband with all my heart and it's killing me to know that I'll never look the same as when we got together. We used to brag half jokingly about what a good looking couple we are and I've had self-image issues since I was in jr. high and now I keep watching my body change and there's nothing I can do to stop it and it's driving me insane. I don't want my husband to stop finding me attractive. I don't want to cry whenever I get dressed but I don't know what to do. I feel so very guilty about hating what pregnancy's doing to me because I already love my baby. I look at my ultrasound pictures every day and I can't wait to meet him/her, I just wish I had more control over how it permanently affected my body that I have to live with every day. I want to be sexy again.

Everyone "swears" by these creams and lotions for stretch marks which infuriates me because any doctor/dermatologist will tell you, 90% of white women get them, over 50% of all women get them, and the fairer skinned you are the worse off you are. I, myself, am see-through. Also it's hereditary-and my mom has them pretty bad.

I don't want to come off as selfish, so please don't take it that way... I'm just having a hard time.

When was the last time you went to the mall?
Oh my, I don't even remember. We almost went today.

When was the last time you had a smoothie?
Too long ago. :(

Any fun plans for tonight?
Playing with my new goodies. :) (laptop, BlackBerry)

Don't you just enjoy people watching?
Who doesn't?

Do you think birds are beautiful?
Humingbirds maybe.

Are your parents home?
They're at their home... ugh, are all surveys for high school kids? :( I feel left out. Haha.

Do you like fried rice?
Nope.

When was the last time you cut your hair?
I got a trim last fall before my honeymoon.

Are you wearing any socks?
Nope.

Do you own a pair of Uggs? If so, what colour is it?
Yessir, tall black.

Are you a fan of salads?
Chicken caeser salad is my favorite thing in the worl wide world.

How far is the nearest McDonald's?
Seven blocks straight, and one block left.

Do you like the band 'The Devil Wears Prada'?
Never heard of em.

Did you dream last night?
Pregnancy dreams are the weirdest, every single night.

Do you like melted cheese?
Who doesn't?

How are you sitting right now?
With my legs crossed and the laptop on my pregnancy pillow, on my lap.

Are you currently wearing bobbypins?
No, I'm wearing a hat.

What's one random thing that you don't like?
When people interrupt me, not that I don't do it, I just can't tolerate it. It shuts me down so I don't want to talk anymore.

What's one random thing that you like?
White cheddar cheez-it's.

Are you a fan of ice hockey?
Guys with bad tempers and no teeth... no thanks.

When was the last time you consumed alcohol?
Before I was pregnant, lol.

Do you like chicken noodle soup?
Mmm, mmm good.

Are you currently under the weather right now?
Nausea and a little heartburn.

Are you on birth control?
Nope, but lucky for me I can't get pregnant while I'm pregnant. :P

Do you ever get messages on Xanga?
I just started this thing yesterday...

Who was the last person to call you?
Kelsey.

Have you ever seen 'Ripley's Believe It Or Not'?
Sure.

What's your favourite kind of soup?
Potato soup, yum.

Do you enjoy reading?
Verrrry much.

What's your favourite vegetable?
Broccoli no diggity doubt.

Is your dad bald?
Yeah he's a loser.

Do you want any piercings?
Nahh.

How often do you use the coffee maker?
I can't drink coffee now that I'm pregnant, but I used to make tons of it with my awesome red coffee maker we got as a wedding gift.

So my lovely husband called me when he got off work to say that we will be house-sitting his best friend's house this weekend while they're away. Yay, they have a super comfy couch and a huge t.v. so it's defintitely not a problem for us! But that's not even the best part! We went to Walmart because we decided that we'd have enough extra money this paycheck to FINALLY get a laptop! They were sold out of everything in our price range and what we were looking for, so after hanging around in electronics and waiting for them to check other store and such we noticed the Verizon phones. The two year agreement prices on phones were so low! So since I'm due for an upgrade we thought hmmm... So I got the BlackBerry Storm! It's so neato burrito, I can't even explain it. And we literally walked out of the store without paying a penny for it. God bless Verizon and their upgrade policy. It's so cool that the phone is literally free. No mail in rebate free, we're talking free and clear. Needless to say I've been entertained ever since. So after I skipped my pregnant self to the car we went to Best Buy, and found a laptop that suited our needs. It's so awesome to finally have a computer, I got to update our iPods, and download music... And I've been dying to blog ever since I found out I was pregnant! And when hubby plays his PS3 I won't be so bored. :) We're gonna go to bed in a bit, so goodnight everyone!

--18 weeks and 6 days pregnant--